suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
