If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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