It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
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