haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
just tell him i said nine months
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
