Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
