can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
