smell my finger.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
