I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
