Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
