also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
