that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
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im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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