I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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