I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
