did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
