If that was your dad, he is hot
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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