She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
