white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It's just like the Real World with babies
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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