I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
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when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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