Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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