Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
