I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
