before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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