dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize