Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.