Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering