I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
