I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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