dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
