Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
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All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
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If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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