Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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