I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
