What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
