yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
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and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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