accomplished twins. life is a go
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
