I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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