her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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