11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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