Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we're making bets on your personal life
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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