Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
