i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
