This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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