That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
