Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
