oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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