can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
