If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
