Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
