i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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