:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Moan for me like Helen Keller
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
