Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
