sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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