Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's never too late to be topless.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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