bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
