Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
