I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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