i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
