Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
