i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
