I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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