brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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