Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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