Whoa Z and x make the same sound
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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