you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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