You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
