Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
