I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
